Author: I AM

  • Let’s Count to 100.

    Let’s Count to 100.

    There I sat, feigning sleep in an attempt to put both of them to sleep.

    They were twins. We had a busy morning filled with made-up games—as they all are—running around, sitting down, and doing this and that until it was time for a nap. I was under the impression that, after all that rigorous movement, surely the children would be in dreamland as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

    Well, that was an adorable little assumption.

    Surely, They Would Sleep

    After carefully placing both of them in their individual cribs and whispering, “Time for a nap,” I sat between the cribs on a pillow and closed my eyes.

    This was me demonstrating what time it was. But before I could even say Jack Robinson, I heard them whisper.

    They then proceeded to stand, jump as though on a trampoline, and free-fall onto their mattresses.

    My lesson on taking turns seemed to hit the wall while we played with toys. Or so I thought. They had exhibited such prowess in waiting patiently for their turn to engage in contrary activities. It was as though they were testing to see if I had mastered my other class in “waiting.”

    They almost called my bluff.

    But through prayer—MUCH PRAYER—I settled on waiting patiently. I knew that they would eventually wear themselves out and sleep.

    They did. Eventually. It only took a millennium.

    Now, I have been told I have extraordinary patience, which I credit to the Holy Spirit. However, on this particular day, I was struggling to engage that patience.

    The days prior to this had been rough. I had not been attaining maximum rest. As they giggled and flopped onto their mattresses, with the spring attached to the bed giving them a cheer, I kept asking God to please settle them down.

    After some time, one of them finally gave up and slept. I remember whispering a thank you, followed by a prayer request to have her sister sleep too.

    Her sister, on the other hand, had other plans.

    I kept praying, and I remember almost giving up.

    I started to make peace with the fact that I was not going to get both of them to sleep. But before I gave up, I made one last prayer that changed something.

    I said, “God, I am going to count to 50, and if she is still jumping, I will get her out of her bed and go.”

    I had been holding pee with the hope that it would not take them long to sleep. It never did—until today.

    So, I began counting.

    The closer I got to 50, the more her jumping intensified.

    In hindsight, I think the intensity of her jumping might not have actually changed. However, because I was focused on the jumping and on how soon she would stop, anything that was not the result I desired felt exaggerated.

    Before I got to 50, I felt the nudge to count until 100. That was my last offer.

    I kept counting and was determined to stop at 100, but something in me did not want to give up, so I kept counting beyond 100.

    To what end? I did not know.

    She still was not asleep.

    She would pause her jumping, and just when I thought my patience had finally paid off, she would stand up and free-fall onto her back.

    At this point, something in me had changed.

    I had stayed, and I was no longer counting. Suddenly, I heard a voice tell me:

    “Your timing is not My timing.”

    I leaned in, and what followed was guidance. God was guiding me to stop focusing on the sound of what seemed to not be working and fix my eyes on Him.

    Attempting to focus on God felt like rolling a stone up a hill because all I could hear was her free-falling.

    I asked God for help to fix my eyes on Him, and He pointed out that I needed to be willing to receive His help.

    I could only receive His help if I released every other thing. This included my focus on what looked like a disappointment.

    With the help of the Holy Spirit, I managed not to focus on the sound for a minute, then two. Then the duration of my focus on being still kept getting longer and longer.

    I would drift to the sound, then quickly strive to get back to stillness.

    By the time I noticed there was no more sound coming from her flopping, my focus had changed.

    She had finally slept.

    I opened my eyes and gave thanks to God before quickly dashing to relieve my bladder.

    The Lesson

    This moment was so profound to me because, in that moment, God refreshed the lesson of fixing my eyes on Him.

    He reminded me that even when I pray and wait on Him, there will be noises trying to distract me from the goal.

    God is able.

    If He does not do something, it is not because He is unable to do it. He may simply be saying, “Wait,” or “No.”

    But in everything, His ways are higher than ours, and our timing is not His timing.

    What was done in 10 years, God can do for you in a minute.

    It is easy to say, “Wait on the Lord.” But when the testing comes to see if we really are about what we say, then we get to find out if we, too, are about what we speak.

    What I Took Away

    I was reminded that waiting is not the same as doing nothing.

    Sometimes, waiting means staying.

    Sometimes, it means praying.

    Sometimes, it means resisting the urge to react to every noise around you.

    And sometimes, it means fixing your eyes on God when everything around you is telling you to do otherwise.

    The twins taught me something that day: my frustration did not change the timing, but changing my focus changed my experience of the waiting.

    I am here today to remind you to fix your eyes on God.

    Wait patiently on Him.

    And lean not on your own understanding.

    With Love,

    Jo.

  • Picture this…

    This beautiful picture is the work of Nyambura a nature enthusiast and one of my darling sisters.

    You have just come up with this really cool invention. You are so excited to release it and to see the work it will accomplish. You care about every detail about this invention so you consider all the challenges it might encounter and you set up the necessary contingencies for every situation. You have decided to create this invention as a solution to challenges for different problems you have identified. You are caring and thoughtful.

    Your thoughtfulness is seen in every detail. You even ensure there’s a manual because the people for whom you have created this invention will need to know how your invention works.Not only do you have a manual you also set up an internal help center (guidance if you will) for the purpose of trouble shooting issues and providing guidance to your invention on its capabilities and scope of work . You are very intentional.

    Before releasing your invention you test it out through all possible hiccups and scenarios to ensure that your invention can actually do the work you intend for it to accomplish. The testing reveals that indeed your invention is capable of accomplishing your plan. Your invention is well equipped with your knowledge and power because you put your best in it. It is extraordinary just as you are. What’s the point of doing something if you don’t do it well right?

    It’s launch day🎇 . You release your invention with so much confidence.  Your invention is now outside your warehouse but still is the apple of your eyes. You are doting over your invention. You never leave it constantly and consistently send software updates to it to remind it of home, its purpose and that you are still watching over it. You are always within reach should anything come up so you can quickly attend to it as it continues to serve your plan. You are the helper of your invention.

    As your invention starts to fulfil your plan everything starts out well. The invention is running on your programs , updating software on the go, rejecting malware because of how deep in contact it is with you. The inventor. As the invention carries out your plan , it starts to meet some factors . New to it but not new to you because you already considered all of them and equipped your invention to deal with them before you released it to work. However, your invention , over time starts to ignore the update software reminders. Your invention no longer connects to you as deeply as when it started to work on your plan. Your invention does not consult the internal help and that guiding system does not come naturally as it did in the beginning. It is as though your invention has gone rogue…

    Your invention now operates on programs outside of what you programmed. These programs confuse it and cause your invention to be mediocre and operate in such low potential. The work for which you made it is left unattended. The gap causes an imbalance in your plan and there is a need for a solution pronto!

    You made your invention in a way that you would partner with it. So you wait for the invention to send you a signal for help and guidance but your invention keeps trying to figure it out on its own. A lot is at stake with the imbalance in your plan. So many people who  are meant to benefit from this plan face destruction. You are incomparably patient.  Even so, you understand how non-negotiable it is for this imbalance to be fixed.

    The thing is , though you gave it all your capabilities, the fact of the matter is you existed before your invention. Even with all your power, knowledge, wisdom and all that you are that is in your invention (despite it not realising) your invention needs you to show and guide it to its fullest potential.There are functions you input with special conditions codes in order to safeguard it and you are the only one who can release them to your invention in different stages of the plan. That’s the only way the plan will work out without overloading your invention. You are so caring.

    However, unless the invention sends that signal for help you can only just watch it with longing for it to signal you to help it. You could shut it down from your command center only that you did not invent it to destroy it. So you wait. You are patient.

    You keep beckoning it and sending it reminders that you are available for it . You never give up on your invention. Yet, to address the gap  in your plan, you send another invention to accomplish the work that urgently needs completion. You  never give up on your  masterpiece invention that you created for some specific work but you gave it free will to choose if it will partner with you forever.

    If your creation never signals you back it will never be fulfilled. It will be unproductive, mediocre and unfulfilled because it is not completing the tasks of the plan for which it was invented. It will soon be deemed obsolete because it serves no purpose. The invention itself is not eager to work in view of the fact that it is operating outside its scope of Everything seems so pointless and unsatisfying. There is hope but the invention has to be willing to send you a signal.

    Your work still continues with another invention because you are great and much is the depth of all you care for. Your work must continue.

    The invention is you and I. The inventor is God. Unless we know who we are through our creator, life will feel unfulfilling and seem hopeless. Unless we fulfill the purpose for which we were created(which is found in our creator) we will never live extraordinary lives.

    We were created as extraordinary . Nothing less. To shine for the whole world to see. Each person was sent as a message to certain people. That is why many people can do the same thing but no one can do it the way you were created to do it. That is why there is only one you in the entire universe. JUST ONE YOU. Do you understand the depth of that uniqueness? Until the message we carry is delivered, we will not be fulfilled.

    The answers to all the desires of our hearts, dreams and ambitions are found in the one who made us. Send that signal.

    With love ,

    Jo.

  • The one where she was still…

    It felt like time was moving at sloth’s speed. Her body was feeling what the English men and women so colourfully described as ‘general malaise’ which caused her to be mildly intolerant of anything. This included work except that she actually had to show up to work. Well. She would later discover that she did not HAVE to , she just chose to show up at work. She shelved that realization of choice for unboxing later.

    There she sat in her car in the driveway not having the slightest motivation to go into the house. She sat there watching the very grey skies that had quickly gathered dimming the natural light. Tiny droplets of rain started to fall on her car’s windshield when her friend called. She surrendered to this moment;flowing and not resisting what was. After speaking words of encouragement to each other she hung up the call and continued to watch the sky. She had always loved nature because in It she found God. This moment felt so powerful. In that moment she was still.

    The droplets were but few and soon after she started to notice the dark grey  clouds moving away, and slowly the rays of sun started to move past the clouds as one would draw curtains and with no fight the clouds obliged. The sun came out and warmed the earth again to the point of burning her forehead as she stepped out of her car. This moment reminded her how quickly things can change when she remained still and kept her eyes on her maker.

    It is written in the word of God, be still and I will fight for you, I will strengthen you and help you. God is not limited by time. It may look like it’s getting darker and maybe it is. Not only that but it might start pouring too! You may have thought that God would at least keep the sun shining and not let it grey but now not only did he let it grey but he let the rain start to pour too! You might have wondered where the one who watches over your coming and going was when it started to get thick. The truth of the matter is , he is and was still in it. The minute you call out to him he shows up.

    When we fix our eyes on the one who made the earth and everything and everyone in it things start to move. God shifts things so quickly because our eyes are on him. Fully trusting that he can get us through anything and being God can he fail?You trust him to carry you through it. He has never failed and he will not start with you. Fix your eyes on him and enter his rest.

    May Elohim remind you who you are and whose you are today. You are so precious, so dearly loved that there had to death so you could be saved! Put your head up. You are more than a conqueror!!

    Until next time,

    Love Jo.

  • The Pink Room

    Leila’s face could not hide her utter disappointment when her mom told her that she could not have the pink room because it belonged to the baby. They had just moved into a new home and you see, pink is her favourite colour. She just could not understand how her mum could deny her choosing a room, knowing all too well that she lived and breathed pink! She looked at me with sad eyes and pouted. I empathised with her. I had just visited their new home and Leila’s mum was giving me a house tour. The house was tastefully done. Beautiful and had perfect natural lighting. Before I could begin to ask or puzzle about why she could not get that room her mum continued…”Leila, you know this room is too small for you. I want you to have another room so you can have a bigger room and your own bathroom.”

    Leila did not have even an iota of excitement to show. She had made up her mind on what was going to be her room. As i stood there this moment stood out for me as a revelation and learning moment. See, Leila’s mum had considered Leila, her needs and in wanting the best for her she chose a room that had other functions Leila had not considered. Leila had only focused on one attribute of her dream room. The colour. This got me wondering. Just how many things had I inquired of God but did not realise that God had given me better than I had even asked for? However, because of the limitation of the exact response I might have wanted I failed to appreciate and give thanks for having received better. I pondered on how what we want does not always serve us best. That what we want may be far lacking hence doing a great disservice to ourselves.

    This meditation caused me to pout too. What God wants for us is always far greater and much more useful to us. God’s plans for us are to prosper us and not to harm us, to give us hope and a future. If we surrender to God we trust that He will not put us to shame as he promised, that he will not drop us or let us fall. We have our understanding of things but it is not God’s understanding. Unless, of course we seek God for His understanding. Surrender is a heart’s posture. It calls for dying to self (flesh) and allowing God’s will be done by His Holy Spirit.The question is why do we fight and doubt the motive of the one who created us? Will the creation ask the creator “how do you know what is best for me?”, when the creation was not present when the creator decided what He would create and for what purpose?

    If you came up with an invention today (which by the way is something to be considered) would you not be the one who knows the most about it? Would you not know how it works, its capabilities, how to fix it if broken and generally the ins and outs of it? That is the same thing with our creator. He knows us more than we know ourselves. He knows what is best for us and knows that we are victorious. He is assured of us prospering and being successful because it reflects on him. God already tested you before he put you on earth and saw that you were able to do the work He created you for. You came here like a letter carrying a message. Your message is inside of you and it brings light and hope to all who get to know you and experience you.You are the message.Allow God to show you that you already are victorious. Step out of the letter. All creation is eager to read the message and see your light.

    As you go about today, trust that God wants the best for you. When you pray leave room for God to surprise you. God really cares for you and He will leave the 99 just for you. Seek God with all your heart and He will show you things you have not known before, He will bless you with things you did not know you needed .You matter and God loves you so much. It’s the greatest love you will ever experience. Let God love you and let your light shine!

    With love,

    Jo.

  • You are the light of the world

    You were born to shine and for the whole world to see. Your light is a guide to others . We all carry our light within us from even before we come into earth. This light we carry is so magnificent, so powerful, so beautiful and very real that when we let it shine it transforms the world for the better. This light within us brings freedom, peace and an abundance of treasure. A treasure that already belongs to us but is not evident in darkness.

    Imagine trying to find something in darkness. Now imagine trying to find this same thing in light. Light reveals things hidden and no matter how small the light appears to be, light is light. 

    When we show up in our light it looks like someone carrying a candle in a dark room full of people holding candles that are not lit. When this person extends their lit candle to light up  another person’s candle suddenly the light in the room becomes more. Then in turn that person turns to light the candle of the person next to them and the one after and so forth eventually creating a domino effect whose result is a room full of brilliance. When everyone shines their own light, darkness cannot prevail. For light chases away darkness. What glorious light we carry!

    Fear is darkness. It dims our light because of the fear that our light is too bright. I am here to remind you that indeed you are meant to shine so bright for the whole world to see. What and why do we fear when we already have everything we need inside of us to do what needs to be done? It may sound like an out of this world phenomenon which makes so much sense because we are from ‘out of this world’. Fear lies and says “you can’t do that. No one has done it before. What makes you think you are special?” Well. I have got news for you! You CAN do that. Truly, it hasn’t been done before because you were meant to be the FIRST one to do it especially that way. This is how you shine and share your light with the whole world. You should know you are special because there is only one you in the entire universe. You are rare and your light is rare. No one shines like you do. Imagine the world without you. Oh how we would miss out on experiencing treasure! 

    How will you ever know how bright you can shine if you do not allow your light to fill the room? When you allow your light to shine for the world to see, you illuminate the way for people who are trying to find their path. When they find their path they too start to shine and they illuminate the way for someone else finding their path and eventually the whole world lights up. There is no limit to the goodness you will experience in this life. You have the power silence that darkness that lies by saying you will never know what that light feels like. You already are light. You are an overcomer and you have overcome this darkness. Believe it. See yourself above that darkness. You are above it . Say it , begin to see it until you live it. You are here for a reason. I want you to remember how precious you are. Do not rob us of your light. Allow us to experience you. The world needs you and your light.

    Picture this, if  there is only one person in a room holding a candle that’s lit ,the effect of the light will impact those near  but not everyone gets the full effect of the light. However, if more people lit their candles then there would be enough light in the room for everyone to be impacted. we can all shine because there is room for us all. We light each other’s candles by encouraging each other, being kind to one another, sharing love, joy, peace, being patient and gentle. We shine in our light by discovering and working in our gifts and talents which creates opportunities for people to live elevated lives. We were created for a purpose and are gifted differently. All gifts are unique, important and work together to create a better life for everyone. Think about all the inventions that have already invented. For instance what If the Wright brothers never showed up in their light, who knows where the world of aviation would be or if it would exist at all. What about Bob Kahn and Vint Cerf. How would you from a different part of the world be reading this message?  How would I share this with you? 

    You have been hiding for too long! I encourage you to go out and shine today. Find your light. It is within you. You never lost it. You just dimmed it and this is the moment to let it all out.

    You were made to shine. Go on and shine!